Dreading the Future

It is a bit difficult to start my first entry in this blog! Perhaps it is due to the fact that I do not like to write...or the fact that no one will read this. Right now I am in such a pessimistic state that it puts me in a depressed mood. I cannot get out of this runt I am. I'm also lacking the motivation to continue. Do I really want this? What will I do if I fail at this? I feel worse not disappointing myself, but letting my parents down. Whichever, I do not enjoy the prerequisite classes I'm taking at BC. Especially, Ochem because there is no real instruction by the professor and she uses other professor's tests. This means that her tests are impossible to get a sufficient grade unless you find the tests that she has been using. Another issue, my parents are attempting to start an AFH. I have to help them with this because my mom is unable to do this alone. Just a lot of things have been occurring in my life and it really bothers me. I wish I lived with my Camels. He helps me calm down or talk to. Camels is a great snuggly man too! I do not what I would do without him. He loves me so much and takes care of me! I love you Camels!